But in all seriousness. How do you think Luke felt? When he finally realized he was face to face with his biological father, the one who helped give him life? I have wondered what Luke felt as he came to the realization. At first, there was a lot of denial. But after realizing the truth, Luke seemed torn. Darth Vader (or Anakin to be more precise) left Luke and Leia as children, leaving Padme alone to raise the children alone.
But is it really that big of a deal that Anakin left (no matter why or how)? In our society today, the answer by the majority of popular media would say no. In fact, there are many reasons why people think that fathers are optional. They include:
1. The mother carries the child during pregnancy
2. Father figures are available anywhere, so the biological father doesn’t matter
3. The government can step in to help take care of the child if there is not a father
4. Moms can work to support children as there is other child care than just stay at home moms
5. It’s not as precedent as it used to.
6. Moms are better suited to raise children and meet the children’s needs.
7. Fathers aren’t actually there most of the time anyway, especially with work demands
8. Fathers are usually only contributing to the problem and are an annoying accessory
9. Cultural expectations- some cultures have the mentality that fathers leave anyway
But what about the issues that arise from not having a father? Here are a couple:
1. Daughters struggle with believing there is a loving God (or Heavenly Father) if there is not a loving earthly father in her life.
2. Boys don’t get discipline by a father figure, or someone to teach them how to regulate their masculine emotions. Mothers and females cannot meet that need since males and females are wired differently.
3. Father’s preside, provide, and protect. It is important to have the Father's stability in a family to teach the children where to turn in times of trial.
4. Girls need fathers to teach them how to be treated, and boys need to learn from dad how to treat girls. This teaching cannot be done by a woman. It must be done by a father.
5. Fathers give much-needed support to their wives. Without this support, wives do not do as well in their motherly duties.
In fact, Elder D. Todd Christofferson has said, "As a Church, we believe in fathers. We believe in “the ideal of the man who puts his family first.” We believe that “by divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families.” We believe that in their complementary family duties, “fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.” We believe that far from being superfluous, fathers are unique and irreplaceable. "
Now, I’m not trying to say that unless there is a father in the home, there will not be any success within the home and family. I understand that there are specific circumstances which merit a change in parental roles, including divorce, disability, and death. But what I am saying is that there has been a major shift in the way our society views fathers and fatherhood.
Before World War II, Family Life used to be an equal yoke of work between a mother and father/husband and wife. Agriculture was one of the staples of the work force, and everyone in the family was required to support each other in order to have the money to make ends meet. The work that families, especially husbands and wives, performed together created emotional stability and created a feeling of happiness, fulfillment, and love. But when the men left for WWII, everything changed.
Before going to war, the men of the time started finding work more in the cities because of the industrial revolution. Machines were now performing the work of people much more efficiently and effectively, which caused the people of that time to have to work in different ways to keep up with what was happening in the society. When the men left, there were only women who could step in and continue the production that was thriving. After WWII however, many women liked the fact that they could work and make their own money. Feminism was born, and soon the attitude of women being able to take care of families without their husbands began.
This phenomena has only gotten worse. But what can we do? Well, I suppose that’s up to you to decide. But the change starts with you.
And I supposed the change starts with me too. I just wanted to add my two cents into this conversation, personally. I grew up in a family with a very strong father figure. My dad is one of my greatest heroes. Although my mom is a strong-willed go-getter, and although I'm sure she could have taken care of me and my siblings just fine by herself, my life is much richer and much better because of my dad. He has done everything in his power to take care of me and my siblings, he has loved my mother through thick and thin, and he has showed me what it means to be a true man. Because of how my dad treated me, I am now engaged to a man who is so gentle and loving with me, but still firm and steady, just as my dad was. I am so grateful for my dad's example in my life.
As for my fiance? I am so excited to support him in his future role of being a father. We both have desires to be a part of a new family unit, with children who can look to a father figure for strength and knowledge. We have spent a lot of time talking about parenting and how to do so. We both look forward to him providing for his children, presiding over the family, and protecting his children from the worldly attacks that are so prevalent today.
I already look to Jordan as a figure of strength and support. I am so excited for him to take our daughters on dates, working hard with our boys within yard work, construction (Jordan's career), mechanics, and music. I look forward to seeing Jordan grow with our children in righteousness as he leads family counsels, family prayers and scriptures, and family home evenings. And I will be there every step of the way to support him and our children in that endeavor.
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