There are a lot of different places that you can find advice for parenting. It is all around us! There are other parents, books, websites, media—everywhere you look, you’re bombarded with different perspectives and opinions. So, what do you do to find the best kinds of parenting techniques? I believe the best advice that we can gain in this life comes from the book that is the “most correct book of any book on earth. ” (Joseph Smith, Introduction to the Book of Mormon). In the Book of Mormon, there are countless examples, explanations, successes, and failures in parenting.
In Alma 36-42, the prophet Alma provides some of the best parenting examples of how to treat each child differently, according to their specific needs and where they are at in their growth process. He talked with his oldest son, Helaman, about how vital the gospel would be in his life, and how he needed to prepare for the callings that God would later give him. To his second son Shiblon, he was very gentle and more patient. I would not be surprised if Shiblon was more outgoing, more straight forward, and a little too blunt or snarky in his dealings with his fellow men. To his youngest son Corianton, however, Alma changed his way of parenting.
Corianton had fornicated while on a mission for the church. The community all knew what was happening, and Alma, as a prophet, knew he had to talk to his son. But through Alma 39-42, there are only nine verses of reprovement. What happens in those few verses? Alma does not push Corianton away. Instead, Alma makes it a point to call Corianton his son in every verse. He wants Corianton to know that although he does not approve of the sin, he still loves his son, and that Corianton is indeed still his son.
After “reproving sharply,” Alma shows an increase of love and tells his son about the doctrine of death and resurrection. But why would Alma do this? Why, after fornicating on his mission, would Alma teach Corianton about death and resurrection? In order to find a possible solution to this, we have to step into Corianton’s shoes for a moment.
If you had a prophet or mission president as a father, and under his direction, you went and fornicated, how would you face your dad, not to mention the Lord? How would you face the consequences? One of the easiest ways to give up and stay away from the physical consequences of choices is to physically leave—this can be through suicide attempts or thoughts. If Corianton felt the weight of his sins in a shameful way, rather than a repentant way, suicide might look attractive. As a parent who was intune to the spirit, Alma took the time to understand where his son was at. And instead of shaming him or guilting him further, Alma loved his son unto repentance. So much so, that a couple of chapters later, Corianton was one of the people that was named as a mighty missionary and reason for the success for church.
Alma first took the time to understand where Corianton was at. And instead of reacting to the situation, Alma was proactive in loving his son where he was at. He encouraged Corianton and taught the doctrine of where Corianton’s thought process was flawed. And because of that, Corianton became clean of the sins that he had committed and became a great instrument in the hands of the Lord.
This story is one of many different examples of parenting within the Book of Mormon. I urge you to read the Book of Mormon with parenting in mind. It just might blow your mind how much you can learn from the parents of the Book of Mormon.
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